How to Handle Common Teen Issues

Teens go through an awkward period where they find themselves caught in between feeling the love for their parents and yet does not want to be seen with them.

Parents who forgot their teenage years will definitely be hurt by their teens distancing themselves more and more frequently.
Preferring to spend time with friends rather than family. Being aware that this is a temporary period, is a good start.

Although this can last a few years, it can be handled with less heart-aches.

If parents are willing to start changing the way they parent, changing the way they think about their teens, and changing the way they look at them and communicate in a different way, they can even enjoy their teens.
Teens suddenly becomes so conscious of their complexion, their physical body, shape and sizes. They like to emulate celebrities, entertainers and feel 'cool' to also like popular classmates favorite celebrities and entertainers just to fit in.
Boys would want to have the 'V' shape body and buy expensive lotion, facial skin care and take hours to come out of the bathroom applying gel to their hair to have the latest hair style.

Girls would want to try new hairstyles, new colors, and dress differently.
They go to great extent to make sure they look good. Does that equal to them feeling good? Not really. That is only the facade. What is inside is more important.

Their self-confidence, their mental, physical and emotional well-being.

Now we know what motivates them.

Therefore, to help and support them to develop the 'V' shape body, it is important to encourage them to set inspiring goals. The same way we encourage them to achieve their academic goals.

Put a collage with pictures of someone they admire and had achieved the same goals that they set. What they had to do is to go to the gym, or swim or run to achieve the 'V' shape body.

The process of doing so help them to build their fitness as well as mental alertness which in turn will help them to also study well and feel good. With these in place, they will progressively develop a good habit and develop self-confidence along the way.

Ultimately, we must support them with things that motivates them.
Being aware that the way teens want to be treated is to have parents respect them.

They want to be able to make decisions on how they spend their money, what friends to have, what clothes to wear. They want to be able to like the movies their friends watch, not go with you and watch what you like.

They felt listened to when you are willing to take the risk and let go of treating them like a child.

That does not mean we completely let them do what they like.
We let go of assuming they like the same things when they were pre-teens.

We let go of telling them what to do and respect their decisions.
An effective way to coach them is to ask them probing questions so that they can think for themselves.

Here are some of the examples of probing questions to find out what they think and to develop their thinking skills: What would happen if you take this action? What would happen if you decide to do this? Who else do you think would be affected if you take this action? Have you explored all options? Have you thought of the consequences if you do this? Do you think this is the best option? Do you know of someone who have succeeded in this project? What is the worst that can happen? Can you visualise the outcome?